Beefs

From AIE Wiki
Revision as of 03:05, 6 May 2010 by Beefs (talk | contribs) (Created page with 'As one of the first Tauren trained as a paladin, Aloysius Grimtotem was often chided by his clan-mates for his peaceful manner. Derisively nicknamed "Beefs", Aloysius nonetheless…')
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

As one of the first Tauren trained as a paladin, Aloysius Grimtotem was often chided by his clan-mates for his peaceful manner. Derisively nicknamed "Beefs", Aloysius nonetheless embraced his status as one of the "First Chosen".

Sent to Stratholme on his final Test of Wills as a Paladin, Aloysius fell victim to one of the classic Plaguelands blunders – snacking on Carrion Grubs. Losing most of his supplies just east of the Bulwark thwarting an attempted "tauren-tipping" by a the Stormwind gang "The FlipGrippers", hunger set in quickly. As Tauren must keep one of their four stomachs full at all times in order to avoid lockjaw, Aloysius hunted for food, but quickly learned that most animals in the Plaguelands are either rotting, plague-ridden, or called "Rotten" or "Plague" something-or-other. Carrion Grubs seems the safest alternative.

The particular grub Aloysius ate, however, was slowly digesting a Ghoul by the name of "HornStickler". Infected by plague sickness, Aloysius' attempts to cleanse the disease failed – his new nose-ring made the correct pronunciation of the spell unintelligible.

Heading towards Lights Hope Chapel where he knew he would find help, he was stopped on the road by the sight of three Goblins who had crashed their zeppelin in a Ziggurat and needed assistance. Since paladins are notorious for being soft-hearted and gullible, Aloysius immediately went to their aide, not realizing that the Goblins were instead Abominations with cheap Hallow's End Goblin masks. How he missed that one we can't be sure. The undead made short work of the neophyte paladin and Aloysius died before he was able to retreat.

But the sweet release of death was not to be. Awakening in the sickening embrace of Acherus, Aloysius' only thought was that something incredibly stupid had brought about his death. In undeath he saw the immeasurable banality of the light and swore an oath to turn his back on it. Though he had his memories, his will was bent on the destruction of the Scarlet Crusade. Only after the Battle for Light's Hope and the birth of the Knights of the Ebon Blade – almost literally the opposite to Uther's Knights of the Silver Hand (I mean, a Silver Hand? What the heck does that mean?) – did he return to his former homeland.

In Mulgore he found his former classmates. He made short order of their lives and, filling his stomachs at last with their flesh and blood, he accepted their now somewhat ironic moniker – Beefs.

Beefs enjoys long walks around Lake Mereldar, chocolate-covered Gnomes and bathing in the blood of deer. He has an odd fear of bread.